Good Morning Class, I hope you’ve all had a good week. The Professor is hearing rumblings from all corners of campus about firing somebody, anybody and based on my performance in prognosticating the past three weeks, the Professor fears he might be at the head of that “torching” list.
As a matter of fact, this morning, there was a heating pad, turned on high, placed in my desk chair. So, don’t expect this Professor to join the “firing squad.”
There is an old saying regarding the belief in and the passing on of rumors,“It is better to be thought a fool and remain silent than to open thy mouth and prove it.” In this case, it seems appropriate.
Now, let’s look at this week’s slate of prognostications. Here we go…
Notre Dame vs. Wisconsin
The Professor, in the past, has shown little shame nor offered any apologies in his consternation for Irish coach, Brian Kelly. Plain and simple, the Professor is jealous. This well-learned Professor has a PhD in Manure Management and is proud of his distinction as the consummate professional in the selling of “BS.” However, Brian Kelly, without a degree, nor much effort, has rivaled this academic’s skill in the BS shoveling department. However, everyone knows “you can’t make chicken salad, even Irish chicken salad, out of chicken poop.”
His Irish defeated Purdue this past Saturday to literally save the lives of all involved. This weekend, they’ll face a team in Wisconsin that’s a little more substantial, heartier than were the Boilermakers.
Paul Chryst’s Badgers are coming off a weeks vacation and will be fresh and ready when they meet the Irish in Chicago. It won’t be an easy task but the Professor believes, Kelly’s skill in shoveling BS aside, it’ll be a sad bus ride back to South Bend. CT Junkie’s Flunkie…Notre Dame.
Texas A&M vs. Arkansas
Jimbo Fisher, the QB whisperer, had to constantly whisper motivation into his reserve QB’s ear to eek out a 3-point victory against Colorado two weeks ago. The whispering continued this past weekend but it wasn’t so much for motivational purposes, they defeated New Mexico quite handily. No, the whispering of this past weekend was to share “knock-knock” jokes and give him updates on the Alabama/Florida game.
The 2021 Arkansas Razorbacks, not the “Hogs” of old, are not going to easily be whispered on to the BBQ Pit. No, coach Pittman has his boys ready. His Razorbacks could even turn the tables on the Aggies and could find themselves the ones on the Pit. The Professor’s Flunkie…in a whisper, Texas A&M.
Louisville vs. Florida State
Last Friday night, The Professor could have sworn Lamar Jackson was incognito, leading Scott Satterfield’s Cardinals to a last second, error fest of a victory against UCF. It was really a great game.
Coach Mike Norvell, “Grumpy” and his hapless, once great FSU warriors reached a new low in the misery index by losing to “Weak Florist” last Saturday. However, aware of the struggles of the Professor’s favorite team, he is sympathetic. Even with all the mutual commiserating, holding of hands and the singing of Kumbaya, it won’t change the outcome. Professor CT Junkie’s Flunkies… Florida State.
Kentucky vs. South Carolina
The timing and circumstances of this week’s meeting between these two, is almost fortuitous. Mark Stoops, his team is in need of a quick weekend getaway (escape) after a nail biter against the “Lookout Mountain Boys” of Chattanooga.
The Clucksters, getting plucked last week in Athens, need the smells, sights and sounds of home. They will both converge on the Williams-Brice barnyard where they will each seek a fresh start. The Professor takes much delight in his least favorite team being one of his consistent Flunkies. The Professor is delighted. Professor’s CT Junkie’s Flunkie…South Carolina
North Carolina vs. Georgia Tech
After the first week SNAFU in Blacksburg, Mack Brown seems to have settled his Tarheels down and they’re showing new found confidence. The sky seems limitless for QB Sam Howell.
Geoff Collins, no longer a close, personal friend of the Professor’s, almost wrecked the struggling Clemson Tigers, last Saturday. Coach Collins’ Jackets could do the same to the Tar Heels this week. However, with Sam Howell’s success of late, he’s shown he’s a WOKE QB and the Heels should take care of business. The Professor’s Junkie…Georgia Tech
Oklahoma vs. West Virginia
Lincoln Riley’s Sooners have been on the slight side of acceptability in two of its three games this season. Last week’s contest against one of the fallen blue bloods of college football, Nebraska, could have gone either way. As luck would have it, the Sooners eked out a win.
Neal Brown’s Mountaineers are going to be the first in line to hopefully inflict some payback on one of the two turncoats of the Big XII. West Virginia, in this Professor’s opinion, has a real shot to “rattle” Lincoln Riley’s Rattler. All of America, outside the State of Oklahoma, waits and hopes. Professor CT’s Flunkie…Oklahoma…YES…really, Oklahoma.
Tennessee vs. Florida
Dan Mullen and his valiant Gators left the Alabama faithful breathless after last weeks near fatal Gator attack in the Gainesville Swamp. They showed they were no one’s patsy and no one’s cupcake, even the to great Alabama, they are for real. This week’s opponent will most likely feel the after effects of a close, painful loss. Enter Josh Huepel’s Vols.
The Volunteers bounced back last weekend with the pummeling of their fellow Tennesseans, Tennessee Tech. 56-0. “Rocky Top” was played continuously for 3 plus hours, how nauseating. That’s a good thing for the Volunteer faithful because they’re most likely not going to hear it much, if at all this Saturday. The Professor’s Flunkie…Tennessee.
Michigan State vs. Nebraska
The Professor is intrigued by Coach Mel Tucker’s Spartans. They have been impressive to say the least. Their defeat of the Hurricanes, in the heat and humidity of Hard Rock Stadium, showed this Professor these warriors aren’t plastic toy soldiers, they’re real.
One could suspect Nebraska will enter this matchup suffering from severe melancholy. They put what was left of their heart, soul and pride in the game against the Sooners. How they respond to the Professor’s melancholiac diagnosis is anybody’s guess. That said, it could be interesting. However, I suspect the warriors will win this battle. CT’s Flunkie…Nebraska.
Clemson vs. North Carolina State
The Professor had a nightmare last night. In that nightmare, this beautiful, shiny orange Ferrari was stuck on a train track, unable to start. Watching helplessly, the Professor kept trying to start that beautiful piece of automotive splendor, as the fast approaching train was blasting its whistle. Then, the Professor awoke in a cold sweat.
Did that Orange Ferrari start? That’s the metaphorical question in this week’s matchup between Dabo Swinney’s Tigers and Dave Doeren’s Wolfpack. After seeking a dream analyst, the meaning was quite clear, the game was representative of the railroad track, the locomotive, the Wolfpack and yes, the Orange Ferrari the Clemson Tigers offense. But does it start? This Professor is not a believer in nightmares but is an unapologetic dreamer. This WOKE Professor’s Flunkie, in a very hard fought battle…North Carolina State. Yes, the Ferrari did indeed start.
Well, that’s all the prognosticating I have left in me this week. Since that nightmare, there hasn’t been much sleeping and suspect there won’t be until late Saturday night. Anyway, have a great week, enjoy the games and may your shiny, Orange Ferrari always start! See you next week.
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