The Junkie Awards….. Volume 5

Week 5 didn’t bring us a lot of big upsets, though there was one extremely close call, but it did give us the seasons first firing. With that being said, welcome to the fifth installment of The Junkie Awards. We will heap praise on those who are worthy, while mocking and poking a little fun at those who deserve it.

Bounce Back Award

Notre Dame

Coming off a tough road loss to 3rd ranked Georgia, the 10th ranked Fighting Irish hosted #18 Virginia on Saturday. Instead of letting one heartbreaking loss beat them twice, the Irish stepped up in a big way, sacking Cavs QB Bryce Perkins 8 times and holding them to just 4-14 on 3rd down in their 35-20 win. They also completely shut down the UVA rushing attack, holding the Wahoo’s to just 4 yards on 29 carries. That is 0.1 yards per carry. Maybe this ND team is for real.

Most Surprising 5-0 Team Award


Raise your hand if you thought Auburn would be unbeaten 5 games in. Me either. Not only are they 5-0 but they already have wins over #11 Oregon and #17 Texas A&M. They also just had their best looking offensive outing of the season against Miss St on Saturday. True freshman QB Bo Nix has had some ups and downs but he has been solid. Against the Bulldogs he was fantastic, going 16-21 for 335 yards and 2 TD’s, while also adding 56 yards and another TD on the ground in just 7 attempts.

To Close For Comfort Award


Through the seasons first 4 games, the Tigers looked like a team still trying to work out some kinks offensively. Since the opener they have struggled to get the running game going and QB Trevor Lawrence had already thrown more picks than he had all of last season. However, they had still managed to win every game convincingly. Until last weekend. On the road in Chapel Hill, the Tarheels scored on the 5th play of the game, then executed an impressive defensive gameplan that kept the Clemson offense off balance all day. The OL struggled, particularly after halftime, and had half a dozen procedure penalties. To make it worse, most came in 3rd and short situations. A defensive stop on an attempted 2 point conversion with a minute left allowed the Tiger to escape with a 21-20 win, keeping their 20 game winning streak alive. Clemson will head into its bye week needing to clean up the little things.

First To Dust Off His Resume Award

Chris Ash

Just 5 weeks into the season and we already have our first firing. Rutgers gave Chris Ash his walking papers after their 52-0 loss to Michigan. After going 8-32 overall, and just 3-26 in B1G play, Rutgers will now have to pay Ash a reported $8.5M to go away.

Hypocrite of the Week Award


At a school in which employees think playing golf is a sign of “microagression,” it is highly hypocritical for said school to try and crack wise on fans of the opposing team at a football game. This is exactly what took place in Chapel Hill last weekend when UNC officials attempted to have a little fun with Tiger fans.

Do not mistake what is being said here. We aren’t shouting “BULLY” from the mountaintop, just pointing out the obvious hypocrisy. No, it wasn’t offensive. Not to me anyways. However, if you are going to try and pull this off, at least have some material that is actually funny. Clemson has won two of the last three national titles, everyone knows where it is at.

Wal Marter of the Week Award

Will Muschamp

Muschamp has always come across as a no nonsense guy that’s always serious. So every time the UofSC coach tries to make a joke, it always feels forced and comes across very stale. That is exactly what happened when he was speaking to reporters before his Gamecocks broke a 5 game losing streak to Kentucky. While telling media members that his team would treat the rest of its games as “must win” situations, he also offered up this gem regarding the teams open date this weekend.

“We need to kick open’s a** too!”

You can check it out for yourself here. Stick to the football coach, jokes aren’t your strong suit. I mean, whoever thinks about this guy as having a great sense of humor?

Congrats to Coach Boom on becoming the first person to ever win the Wal Marter of the Week Award twice! He is also the first to win it in consecutive weeks.

Congrats to all of our winners this week and check back again next week when we hand out a whole new set of Junkie Awards.

Leave a Reply